Dealing with Worries and Stress

It is the nature of this life that people will suffer from worries and stress, because this world is the abode of disease, hardship and suffering. Among the things that distinguish Paradise from this world is the fact that there is no worry or stress there.

Nothing ever upsets the people of Paradise, not even the slightest word:

It is also the nature of this life that people have to put up with suffering and hardship for various reasons, as is indicated in the Qur'an:

So people feel regret for what has happened in the past, anxious about what may happen in the future, and worried about what is going on in the present. People react differently to stress and worries, depending on how many things are concerning them, whether the worry is continuous or not, and on whether they have faith in their hearts or are rebellious and sinful. We may describe people's hearts as being of two types: either the heart is the throne of Allah, filled with light, life, happiness, joy and all the treasures of goodness; or it is the throne of the Shaytaan, wherein is distress, darkness, death, grief, worry and anxiety.

People's worries and concerns differ according to their motivations, circumstances and individual responsibilities. Some worry is commendable — such as a scholar's anxiety to resolve difficult issues concerning which the Muslims need an answer, or the concern of a Muslim leader about the people under his care.

This is what made the two 'Umars — 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) and 'Umar ibn 'Abdul-'Azeez (may Allah have mercy on him) — and other leaders worried and anxious. 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab used to think about how to prepare the army whilst he was praying, and he was excused for that. When the Caliphate passed to 'Umar ibn 'Abdul-'Azeez, he said: "Woe to you! How could I not be anxious when there is no one in the East nor the West of this Ummah who is not demanding his rights of me or asking me to help settle some matter with another person, whether he writes down his request or not, whether he asks me directly or not?"

The Distress of the Da'ee (Caller to Islam)

The prophets had more than their fair share of this kind of stress. 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) told her nephew 'Urwah that she asked the Prophet ﷺ: "Did you ever suffer any day worse than the day of Uhud?" He said: "I suffered what I suffered at the hands of your people, and the worst that I suffered from them was on the day of 'Aqabah, when I had made an appeal to Ibn 'Abd Yaalayl ibn 'Abd Kalaal and he did not respond in the way I had hoped for. I left him, hardly knowing where I was going, and I did not realize where I was until I had reached Qarn Ath-Tha'aalib. I raised my head, and saw a cloud which was shading me. I looked in it, and saw Jibreel, who called to me and said: 'Allah has heard what your people have said to you, and their response to you. He has sent to you the Angel of the Mountains, to do whatever you tell him to do to them.' Then the Angel of the Mountains called to me, greeted me, and said: 'O Muhammad ﷺ, if you wish, I will crush them between two mountains.'" The Prophet ﷺ told the angel: "Rather, I hope that Allah will bring forth from their descendants people who will worship Allah alone and not associate anything with Him."

Anxiety of the Truthful When Disbelieved

This happened to the Companion Zayd ibn al-Arqam (may Allah be pleased with him), who heard the chief of the hypocrites, 'Abdullah ibn Ubayy, saying to his men: "When we return to Madeenah, the one who has pride and power will expel the one who is humiliated" — meaning that he would expel the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Zayd reported this, but Ibn Ubayy swore he had said no such thing, and the Prophet ﷺ believed him over Zayd. Zayd said: "I felt extreme anxiety and stress, such as no one has ever suffered. When I was on a journey with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, I hung my head with worry. Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ came up to me, tweaked my ear, and smiled at me. I felt happy in such a way that I would not exchange immortal life in this world for that feeling." Then Allah revealed Surah al-Munafiqoon, confirming that Zayd had spoken the truth:

Anxiety from False Accusations

An example of this is what happened to 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) when the hypocrites accused her of sin during the campaign of Muraysi'. She wept for two nights and a day without ceasing and without sleeping, until she thought the weeping would kill her. When the Prophet ﷺ came to her and asked her about the accusation, she said: "I am only a young girl and I do not know much of the Qur'an. By Allah, I have nothing to say to you except the words of the father of Yoosuf:"

Then Allah revealed the verses clearing her of the slander:

Before 'Aa'ishah, Maryam bint 'Imraan (Mary, may Allah exalt her mention) suffered a great deal of stress and anxiety because she became pregnant without being married. Her distress reached such an extent that she wished she had never been created:

Other kinds of distress include: a man's worry about what may happen to his wife and children after his death; anxiety because of a loan (as happened to az-Zubayr, whose debt was two million and two hundred thousand — yet Allah blessed his estate so that all was paid off and wealth remained); and anxiety caused by frightening dreams.

The first and most fundamental treatment for anxiety and worry in Islam is faith accompanied by righteous deeds:

The believers in Allah, whose faith is correct and motivates them to do righteous deeds, have the basic principles according to which they deal with every kind of joy and grief. They receive blessings with acceptance and thanksgiving. When faced with distress, they try to resist and reduce it as much as they can, and they react with patience to the things in which they have no choice. As the Prophet ﷺ stated: "How marvelous is the affair of the believer! Everything that happens to him is good, and this does not apply to anyone except the believer. If something good befalls him, he gives thanks for it, and that is good for him. If something bad befalls him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him." (Muslim)

The Muslim who is distressed or worried should know that whatever psychological pain afflicts him is not wasted, but serves a purpose in increasing his good deeds and expiating for his misdeeds. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Nothing of fatigue, illness, distress, worry, grief or harm befalls the Muslim, not even a prick from a thorn, but Allah will accept it as expiation for some of his sins." (Bukhari and Muslim) Some of the righteous predecessors (Salaf) would rejoice when misfortune struck, just as we rejoice at times of ease, because they understood this reality.

The Prophet ﷺ also said: "When Allah wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin in this world; when He does not wish good for His slave, He withholds the punishment until the matter is settled on the Day of Resurrection, when all of his sins will be brought forth together." (Tirmidhi) This means the believer should realize that if it were not for disasters and afflictions, we would come empty-handed on the Day of Resurrection.

The believer knows that this world is fleeting, its luxuries few, and that whatever pleasures exist in it are always imperfect. If it causes a little laughter, it gives many reasons to weep; if it gives a little, it withholds far more. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "This world is the prison of the believer and the Paradise of the disbeliever." (Muslim)

Abu Qataadah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that a funeral passed the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and he said: "He is now relieved, and people feel relieved of him." The people asked: "O Messenger of Allah, how can he be relieved and people feel relieved of him?" He said: "The believing slave (who dies) is relieved of the fatigue and pain of this world and has gone to the mercy of Allah; when the rebellious slave dies, people, land, trees and animals are relieved of him." (Bukhari) This understanding of the reality of this world makes it easier for the believer to bear afflictions, pains, distress and anxiety — because he knows that they are an inevitable part of the nature of this life.

The prophets and the righteous suffered more distress in this world than other people. Each person is tested according to the strength of his faith. Sa'd (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet ﷺ: "O Messenger of Allah, which of the people suffers the most distress?" He said: "The prophets, then those who come after them (in terms of status), then those who come after them. A man will be tested according to the strength of his faith. If his faith is strong, then the distress with which he is tried will be greater; if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with the level of his faith. Distress will keep on befalling the slave until he walks on the face of the earth free from sin." (Tirmidhi)

The concerns of this world overwhelm and confuse people, but if the slave makes the Hereafter his main concern, Allah will help him to focus and be determined. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Whoever has the Hereafter as his main concern, Allah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allah will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already predestined for him." (Tirmidhi)

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allah alone, Allah will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in dhikr and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out."

Remembering death is a surprisingly effective remedy for worry and stress. The Prophet ﷺ said: "Remember frequently the destroyer of all your pleasures: death, for there is no-one who remembers death when in straitened circumstances, but his situation will become easier, and there is no-one who remembers death during times of ease, but his circumstances will become straitened." (Tirmidhi)

Du'aa (supplication) is very beneficial and includes both protection and treatment. As far as protection is concerned, the Muslim is obliged to turn to Allah and pray to Him for refuge from distress. The Prophet ﷺ used to frequently say:

"Allaahumma inni a'oothu bika min al-hammi wa'l-huzn wa'l-'ajzi wa'l-kasal wa'l-bukhli wa'l-jubn wa dala' ad-dayn wa ghalbat ar-rijaal." (O Allah, I seek refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men.) — Bukhari This du'aa is very effective in preventing distress before it happens.

When one is worried about what may happen in the future, the following du'aa is very beneficial. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet ﷺ used to say:

"Allaahumma aslih li deeni allathi huwa 'ismat amri wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fiha ma'aashi wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha ma'aadi waj'al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr waj'al al-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr." (O Allah, make me adhere properly to my religion, on which all my affairs depend; make this world good for me in which is my livelihood; make my Hereafter good for me, in which is my ultimate destiny; make my life increase in every good thing and make my death a respite from every evil.) — Muslim

When distress and pain befall a person, the door of du'aa is always open to him; it is never closed:

The Greatest Du'aa for Distress

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: 'Allaahumma inni 'abduka ibn 'abdika ibn amatika naasyati bi yadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadhaa'uka. As'aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista'tharta bihi fi 'ilmil-ghaybi 'indaka an taj'al al-Qur'aana rabee'a qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa' huzni wa thihaab hammi' (O Allah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur'an the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety) — but Allah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy." (Ahmad) He was asked: "O Messenger of Allah, should we learn this?" He said: "Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it."

Other Prophetic Supplications for Distress

Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ felt distressed, he would say: "La ilaaha illallaah al-'Atheem al-Haleem, la ilaaha illallaah Rabba al-'Arsh al-'atheem, la ilaaha illallaah Rabbu as-samawaati wa Rabbu al-ardhi wa Rabbu al-'Arshi al-kareem." (There is no god worthy of worship but Allah, the All-Powerful, the Forbearing; there is no god worthy of worship but Allah, Lord of the mighty Throne; there is no god worthy of worship but Allah, Lord of heaven, Lord of earth, and Lord of the noble Throne.) — Bukhari and Muslim

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was distressed by something, he would say: "Ya Hayyu ya Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth." (O Ever-Living, O Eternal, by Your mercy I seek help.) — Tirmidhi

Asmaa' bint 'Umays (may Allah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me: 'Shall I not teach you some words which you can say at times of distress?' 'Allaah Allaah rabbe la ushriku bihi shay'an.' (Allah, Allah is my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him.) — Abu Dawud

Another du'aa the Prophet ﷺ taught: "Allaahumma rahmataka arjoo fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfat 'ayn wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu la ilaaha illa anta." (O Allah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye; rectify all my affairs. There is no god worthy of worship except You.) — Abu Dawud

If a person thinks about the meaning of these supplications and prays with concentration and sincere intention, doing all those things that can help to bring about a response, Allah will fulfil his hopes and do the things asked for; He will turn his distress into joy.

This is one of the greatest ways through which Allah may relieve worries. At-Tufayl ibn Ubayy ibn Ka'b (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported that his father said to the Prophet ﷺ: "O Messenger of Allah, I pray a lot for you. How much of my prayers should I devote to you?" He said: "As much as you want." He said: "A quarter?" He said: "As much as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for you." He said: "Half?" He said: "As much as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for you." He said: "Two-thirds?" He said: "As much as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for you." He said: "I will devote all my prayer to you." He said: "Then your worries will be taken care of and your sin will be forgiven." (Tirmidhi)

When a person knows that Allah is Able to do all things, that He alone makes choices for His slaves and runs their affairs, that the way He runs His slave's affairs is better than the way the slave would do it for himself, that He knows better about the slave's interests than the slave does, and that He is more able to achieve them and more merciful towards His slave than the slave is to himself — when a person knows all this, he will submit himself to his Lord and hand over his affairs to Him.

The person who relies on Allah is strong in heart and is not adversely affected by illusions or things that happen, because he knows that this is a sign of weakness and fear that is unfounded. He also knows that Allah has guaranteed to take complete care of the one who puts his trust in Him, so he trusts Allah and has confidence in His promise. Thus his worries and anxiety disappear, hardship is replaced with ease, sadness turns to joy and fear turns to a feeling of security.

The Prophet ﷺ sought refuge with Allah from worry and regret: regret for things that have happened in the past which one cannot go back and change, and worries about what may happen in the future. The slave should think only about the present, focusing his energy on doing his best today, because this is what results in perfect work, and helps him to forget his worries and regrets.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, and both are good. Pay attention to that which could benefit you, seek the help of Allah and do not feel incapacitated. If anything befalls you, do not say: 'If only I had done such-and-such, such a thing would have happened.' Say instead: 'It is the decree of Allah, and what He wills, He does,' for saying 'if only…' opens the way for the Shaytaan." (Muslim) Thus the Prophet ﷺ established a link between striving for beneficial things in every situation, seeking the help of Allah, and not giving in to feelings of inadequacy — while accepting that the past is over and done with, and trusting in the will and decree of Allah.

The remembrance of Allah has a wonderful effect in calming the soul and relieving stress and worry:

The greatest phrase of dhikr that can relieve the distress of death is 'La ilaaha ill-Allah' (there is no god except Allah). Talhah told 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both): "I heard the Prophet ﷺ say a word which no slave says at the time of death but Allah will ease his distress and brighten his color." 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "I know what it is — 'La ilaaha ill-Allah'." Talhah said: "That is it, by Allah, that is it!"

Huthayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Whenever the Prophet ﷺ was grieved by something, he used to pray." When Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) heard about the death of his brother, he stopped at the side of the road — as he was on a journey — and prayed, following the command of Allah.

The Prophet ﷺ also said: "You must strive in Jihad for the sake of Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, for it is one of the gates to Paradise, and Allah dispels worry and distress through it." Striving for the sake of Allah — through calling to Islam, enjoining good, forbidding evil, and standing for justice — gives a person a greater purpose that lifts him above petty worldly concerns.

Acknowledging the blessings of Allah and speaking about them dispels worry and distress. The slave is encouraged to have the attitude of thankfulness, which is the highest level he can reach, even if he is in a state of poverty, sickness or other kinds of misery. If he were to compare the innumerable blessings that Allah has bestowed upon him with the bad thing that has befallen him, he will see that the distress is as nothing in comparison to the blessings.

One of the most beneficial things in this regard is to follow the advice of the Prophet ﷺ: "Look at those who are below you, not at those who are above you, so that you will not think little of the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you." (Bukhari and Muslim) If a person keeps this important concept — of looking only at those below him — in mind, he will definitely feel that he is better-off than many others when it comes to good health, physical strength, and provision such as food, clothing, and shelter, no matter what his situation. So his anxiety and distress will disappear, and he will feel increased happiness and joy in the blessings of Allah.

15. Keeping Busy with Beneficial Work

Keeping oneself busy with useful work or the pursuit of beneficial knowledge distracts a person's mind from the matter that has been causing anxiety. Many people suffering from constant depression found that the right treatment was to forget the thing that caused the worry and keep themselves busy with work that they liked and looked forward to — this was more effective in bringing about the desired good results.

16. Looking for the Positive

The Prophet ﷺ said: "No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one aspect of her character, he will be pleased with another." (Muslim) This principle extends beyond marriage — anyone who focuses only on the negative aspects of any situation, and is blinded to the positive, will inevitably become anxious and depressed. The wise person trains himself to see the good alongside the bad.

17. Understanding Life's Shortness

The wise person understands that his true life is one of joy and contentment. Life is very short, and he should not let himself get carried away with distress and depression that will make it even shorter. When misfortune strikes, the believer compares the blessings he enjoys — both spiritual and worldly — with whatever has befallen him. When he does this, the bad things are put into perspective.

18. Not Allowing Duties to Accumulate

Taking decisive action immediately frees one to deal with whatever comes up in the future. Things not dealt with immediately pile up and make the burden heavier. If you deal with everything at the right time, you will be free to deal with whatever lies ahead with a focused mind. Prioritize your work in order of importance, study what needs to be done in depth, and once you are sure about what action is needed, put your trust in Allah — for He loves those who put their trust in Him.

19. Being Prepared for All Possibilities

If a person is prepared for the possibility of loss, sickness, debt, or other unpleasant events — while seeking refuge with Allah and hoping to be safe — then if his fears materialize, their impact will not be so great because he has already anticipated them and prepared himself to deal with them. Many ambitious people are prepared to deal with major calamities calmly, but are unduly worried and stressed by trivial problems. The reason is that they prepare themselves to face major problems but forget to prepare for minor troubles. The prudent person prepares himself to deal with both.

The advice and opinions of religious scholars are among the things that can be of the greatest help in remaining steadfast at times of calamity. The Companions used to complain to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about the torture they suffered. Khabbaab ibn al-Aratt (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "We complained to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ when he was reclining on his cloak in the shade of the Ka'bah. We said to him: 'Why do you not ask Allah to help us? Why do you not pray to Allah for us?' He said: 'A man from the people before you would be placed in a hole dug for him, then they would bring a saw and cut his head in two, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. They would use an iron comb to drag the flesh and nerves from his bones, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. By Allah, this matter will be completed until a rider travelling from Sana'aa' to Hadhramawt will fear nobody but Allah or the attack of a wolf on his sheep, but you are too impatient.'" (Bukhari)

Similarly, one can seek the help of sincere brothers, wise relatives and faithful spouses. When Faatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) felt distress because the Prophet ﷺ did not enter her home upon finding a decorated curtain over her door, she complained to her husband 'Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), who went to the Prophet ﷺ and resolved the matter.

The person who is distressed or worried should know that after hardship comes ease. The more intense his stress and depression is, the closer he is to relief and a way out.

In effect, hardship is mentioned once (with the definite article 'al'), and relief is mentioned twice (in indefinite form with tanween), showing that the relief mentioned in the second verse is different from the first — meaning that one hardship is accompanied by two forms of relief. The Prophet ﷺ advised Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him): "Know that victory (or achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship."

'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Talbeen warms the heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a person's grief." (Bukhari) Talbeen is a soup or broth made from ground barley to which honey is added. It is called Talbeen because it resembles milk (Laban).

'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: "Whenever the Messenger of Allah ﷺ heard that someone was sick or in pain and not eating, he would say: 'You should make Talbeen and let him sip it. By the One in Whose hand is my soul, it will cleanse the stomach of any one of you just as you wash the dirt from your faces with water.'" (Ahmad) This is a true matter, as it has been proven to be part of the Revelation conveyed by the infallible Prophet ﷺ. Allah has created all kinds of food, and He knows best their characteristics.

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) compiled a comprehensive list of fifteen kinds of remedies through which Allah may alleviate distress and grief:

1. Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (Unity of Divine Lordship)
2. Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (Unity of Divinity)
3. Tawheed al-Asmaa' was-Siffaat (Unity of the Divine Names and Attributes)
4. Declaring that Allah is far above mistreating His slave or punishing him without any cause on the part of the slave himself
5. Admission on the part of the slave that he is the wrongdoer
6. Beseeching Allah by the best of things, which are His Names and Attributes — among the most comprehensive are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal)
7. Seeking the help of Allah alone
8. Putting one's hope in Allah
9. Putting one's trust in Allah and handing over all one's affairs to Him, recognizing that one's forelock is in His hand, that Allah runs all one's affairs as He wills, that His command is ever executed and that His decree is just
10. Reading the Qur'an and pondering its meaning, seeking consolation in it for all disasters, and seeking a cure in it for all diseases of the heart — for it washes away grief and heals distress and anxiety
11. Seeking the forgiveness of Allah
12. Repentance (Tawbah)
13. Jihaad (striving for the sake of Allah)
14. Salaah (prayer)
15. Admitting that one has no power or strength at all, and attributing them to the One Who holds them in His hand (saying: La hawla wa la quwwata illa billaah)

The person who has been guided to Islam, if his 'Aqeedah is sound and his Eemaan is strong, will find the cure in that which has come from Allah, the All-Knowing and All-Aware, Who created all things and Who knows best what befits His creation.